How to Cope When Life Isn’t Fair

Life isn’t exactly known for it’s fairness. There are all sorts of things about the world that are unfair on a grand scheme – some people are born rich and others are born poor. Some of us are born completely healthy, others with serious health issues. There is no rhyme, reason, or explanation for those types of things, and as a unwritten rule people accept that. Sometimes though, awful unfair things happen to us in life that we desperately want to find a reason for. Some explanation or justification that can make the situation easier. For the last couple of weeks my family has been dealing with one of those situations, and it sucks.

As you are reading this post, I’m likely loading or unloading a moving truck – we are moving today. Just one year after going through boxing up our belongings and moving into what was supposed to be our forever home, the home we renovated and decorated, we’ve had to box up our stuff and move again with less than 30 days notice.

I’ve gone back and forth for the last hour on this paragraph, wondering if I should share what happened, or give just a few details, but I’ve decided against it. I will say this that we are feeling a combination of betrayed (because a parent was involved in what happened), exhausted, and confused. Confused because Mr. T and I always strive to do the right thing. We aren’t perfect, but we try to be good people, so this all seems really, really unfair. My whole life I was told ‘good things happen to good people’ – kind of hard to believe right now.

As you can imagine the last two weeks have been pretty tough. To make things worse, my agency was rolling out a major campaign that required my happy game face at all times, and I’ve committed to a 30 for 30 challenge. I’ve had moments in the last month where I’ve wanted to give up on everything and just retreat from life, unfortunately (or fortunately) that wasn’t an option, so I’m just chugging along.

Other than the fact that I have some pretty amazing friends that have kept checking in on me, have shown up to pack, and brought lots of wine, I’ve also found comfort in a few coping mechanisms. If you are going through a messy unfair time in your life, maybe it will help to share.

how to cope when life is unfair


Write it Out – Grab a journal or a scrap piece of paper and just write out all the feelings.

Cry it Out – Sometimes you just have to let the emotions flow. I’ve given myself a personal deadline, crying about the situation is allowed at the old house, but I can’t bring it to the new house.

Focus on How not Why – Why the sh*tty thing happened we’ll never have a real concrete answer for, how to move forward we can figure out. Focus on the solution not the problem

Accept Help – If someone offers to help you, take it

So that’s what’s up in my world, and why I haven’t been posting my 30 for 30 looks for a couple of days. I have managed to almost keep up with pics (I’m 2 days behind), and I will post a re-cap of what I wore last week tomorrow. If you are thinking about me today, please send positive and energizing vibes because this girl is exhausted!



  1. May 15, 2017 / 8:59 am

    I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling with such a hard thing. A home is entwined into the fabric of your life. No matter the reason it’s hard to leave. Doubly so if it’s not something you wanted to happen. I hope that your new house becomes a home. You will be there with the people you love, that’s a good start. And as for family, that feeling of betrayal or hurt will fade. You may have lost trust, though, and that takes longer to heal. But heal, you will. You are a strong, beautiful, articulate woman and you will look back at this as a pothole in the path of life.

  2. May 15, 2017 / 9:55 am

    I feel for you, Raj. Like you, I have found as well that writing thoughts down, and focusing on a more positive tomorrow really help with that feeling of betrayal. Sending positive thoughts your way. Best of luck with the move!

  3. May 15, 2017 / 3:26 pm

    I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. May the universe grant you more strength and courage to go through this. This too shall pass.
    I have realised that writing it out helps me a lot too and If it doesn’t, I deploy the ‘cry it out’ point!
    Sending love and prayers your way!

  4. Gillybeans
    May 15, 2017 / 10:35 pm

    I’m sorry to hear you are going through this life altering situation. I can completely sympathize as I am also going through a similar situAtion. We had to move suddenly and unexpectedly in October. We spent 6 years in our house which I made a home. My garden was 6 years in the making and to move everything and my family so suddenly is something that I am still not over. My daughter had just started kindergarten and we were 5 minutes walking distance away. Now we are 7 minute drive away. 20 pounds gained, depression, anxiety and my whole routine changed over a “simple” move.
    Trying to see the positive is something I need to consciously tell myself every day.

    At the end of the day, family is what makes life worth getting up in the mornings. Keep busy with your work and life, and things will once again fall into place.

    • May 25, 2017 / 12:54 pm

      I’m so sorry to hear that happened to you, and trust me, I can empathize. We just have to focus on our family and all the positive things in our life.

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